Bad Movie Appreciation Society: Plan 9 from Outer Space
Following on from the previous article about ‘so bad its
good’ movies, a good place to start when looking at their history would be the
most notorious one of all, referred to as the Citizen Kane of bad movies: Plan
9 from Outer Space.
So where to start with this monstrosity? Well, some
background first.
Plan 9 was
released in 1959, directed by Ed Wood. In 1980, two years after his death, Wood
was given The Golden Turkey award for being ‘The Worst Director of All Time.’
Prior to Plan 9, Wood had made a few
low budget films such as Glen or Glenda (actually quite a bold movie, exploring transgender issues in what was a very
conservative era. Or at least it would have been if weren’t so terribly
executed) and Bride of the Monster (not
to be confused with The Bride of
Frankenstein). All his films were critically panned.
But what did Wood have to work with?
In his Hollywood
career, Wood had collected around him what probably in his mind were a rival to
Orson Welle’s Mercury Theatre group. In reality, they were a strange, bizarre
group of people.
Firstly, there was Tor Johnson, a Swedish former
professional wrestler. Johnson plays Inspector Clay in Plan 9. Clay carries much of the dialogue in the first part of the
movie, unfortunately Johnson is near incomprehensible.
Secondly, there is Crisswell who plays the narrator. Before
making Plan 9, Crisswell was a TV
psychic and he opens the movie with the line:
Greetings, my friend.
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you
and I are going to spend the rest of
our lives. And remember my friend, future
events such as these will affect you in
the future.
And that basically sets the tone for the rest of the movie.
Then there is the impossibly thin-waisted Vampira (you have
to see it to believe it), who as you may have guessed from her name dresses up
like a vampire (think Morticia from The Addams Family). She had hosted a TV show
in America that showed classic horror movies. She was a star name to have in
the cast, unfortunately she didn’t want to speak any dialogue.
Wood did have one trump card up his sleeve though, Bela
Lugosi. The Hungarian actor was the original screen Dracula in 1931 and to some
still the definitive screen version of the character. He had kept a steady
stream of work coming in during the 30’s working on Universal horror films
often alongside his great rival, Boris Karloff. When Universal pulled the plug on
its horror department however, Lugosi was left out on his ear. His European
accent was a stumbling block to him getting any major film roles and he fell
into heroin addiction. I don’t want to suggest Wood exploited Lugosi but it was
evident he needed the money and he was cast in several Ed Wood productions.
Sadly for one of cinema’s great screen icons, Plan 9 from Outer Space would be his last feature film as he died
during film. As Bela Lugosi wanders off screen in the first few minutes of the
film we hear screeching tyres. How appropriate for the rest of the film but sad
for Lugosi that one of the first sequences of the film has a car crash.
But Lugosi’s death led to one of the most bizarre things in Plan 9. When trying to think what he
could do to replace Lugosi in the film, Wood noticed his wife’s chiropractor bore
a striking resemblance to Lugosi, as long as you only saw the top of his face.
This led to Wood casting him in the film but he would walk with a cape covering
the lower part of his face at all times.
So with a stellar cast like that, what could go wrong?
The plot of Plan 9
from Outer Space centres on an alien invasion of Earth. The aliens (who are
human in appearance) want to stop mankind just as they are on the verge of
making a discovery that could threaten the rest of the universe due to our hostile
and warlike nature. Prior to going into films, Wood had served in the US military
in World War Two, so at least on this point Wood could be claiming to speak
from a voice of experience.
Rather than using a standard invasion strategy, the aliens
activate Plan 9. This plan involves reanimation of the earth’s dead but only
three of them. As far as great plans go, it’s pretty ineffective and to wipe
out a planet of 6 billion people, the aliens are obviously playing the long
game on this. Other than that there is little else to say, other that the
humans win when they beat the alien general in a fist-fight that causes enough
damage for their suspiciously square looking flying saucer to explode. Yeah, it’s
pretty bad.
Production wise is where Wood really shows his expertise.
Starting with the most unconvincing looking cockpit in screen history, we are
then treated to an array of sparse and dodgy looking sets. Tombstones wobble,
actors can be seen waiting for their cues and strings are clearly visible on
alien spaceships. Day switches to night back to day between shots making it
near impossible to tell how much time is supposed to have passed.
Yet all that could be forgiven if the story and dialogue
were any good. Audiences are quite understanding that special effects might not
be up to scratch, we are aware of the financial constraints film makers often
find themselves under. But the script is the element the director does have
control over and in Plan 9 from Outer
Space the script is awful.
For all its failings, it’s hard not to love Plan 9 from Outer Space, Ed Wood’s
magnum opus. As alluded to in my previous article, the best SBIG movies come
from a place of love. An earnest belief by those involved that what they are
making is a great movie however misguided that may be.
Plan 9 should be
shown to film students and lovers of film everywhere, right alongside Citizen Kane. The latter as an example
of how to make a great movie, the former to show how not to make a movie.
Plan 9 from Outer Space trailer:
Some of the previously rejected plans:
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