Number 10: Turks In Space (2006)
(This is actually a trailer for the first Turkish Star Wars but screw it)
We’re in the real shit now. I have watched 90 cruddy films
now, ten to go. The 10 worst films (as listed by IMDB on 31/08/2015) ever. And
it’s a whopper.
Turks In Space,
otherwise known as Turkish Star Wars. Or
in Turkish Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam'in Oglu, which
translates as ‘Son of the Man who Saved the World’. This is actually a sequel
to 1982 film Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam,
‘The Man who Saved the World’, a cult classic in Turkish cinema. Got all that?
Good.
It’s worth bringing up, Turkey has a bit of a reputation in
the cult cinema world. Basically, they take existing popular franchises and put
their own spin on them. There are Turkish versions of Batman, Superman and
Spider-Man, none of which have any relation to the original source material.
Batman for example, is a homicidal, sexual deviant.
Turks In
Space is a take on Star Wars,
though crossed with Star Trek. More
specifically, Star Trek III: The Search
for Spock, as they go off looking for a guy all logic would tell you is
dead, very dead. The Captain has been searching for his friend for 8 years
without success with his rag-tag crew. There’s his incompetent first officer;
an android; an old woman who washes the floors; an old man who has apparently
slept the last 8 years; a small child; a sexy woman who doesn’t seem to have a
specific job and only seems to be there because she has a crush on the Captain;
a computer that makes me wonder if I can cram in a Blake’s 7 reference; a black guy. Your standard Sci-Fi crew.
It starts with a montage of great moments in Turkish history,
such as the rise of the Ottoman Empire, Attaturk, Galatasary winning the UEFA
Cup before they finally get a Turk into space. Can you imagine that? A Turk. In
Space!
There’s a warlord, who I guess is our Darth Vader of the
piece but nowhere near as badass. I don’t think he actually has a plan of his
own but we just accept he does because he looks like a villain. There’s a lot
of guff about twins separated at birth and arranged weddings, some not so
subtle satire about American foreign policy. None of it very coherent.
It should be said, it is played a lot for laughs with silly
set-pieces. There is a Death Star of sorts and we do get a lightsabre battle at
the end. I quite enjoyed the impromptu love story, mainly because they done a 3
minute flashback sequence that made me realise the two characters had literally
only spent 3 minutes of screen-time together.
And some amazing special effects on display here, like they
had been made on an Amiga 600 in the early 90’s. Industrial Light and Magic have little to fear.
Turks In
Space or Turkish Star Wars
could in no way be described as a ‘good’ movie but it is certainly an enjoyable
one. It actually broke my rule: bad films can be so bad they’re good but bad
comedies are always just bad. Turks In
Space is not exactly funny but it is fun and doesn’t take itself too
seriously in any way.
So even if just out of curiosity, I recommend giving it a go.
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