IMDB Bottom 100: Number 4 - Himmatwala

Number 4: Himmatwala (2013)

A moment please: this will be the last trip to Bollywood on this journey but please, no tears.

I don’t proclaim to be an expert on Bollywood cinema but there is something that draws you to it: colour! Hollywood is awash with grey, brown and moody blue tints but over in India they have bright greens, pinks and yellows. There are some who think Bollywood should be darker and more gritty, I disagree. It’s reassuring to know in these bleak times that there is still somewhere in the world where brightness still prevails and it’s what gives Bollywood its’ identity. Never change.

That said, it doesn’t stop Bollywood from churning out its fair share of shit. And Himmatwala is shit. An ‘Entertainer’ from director Sajid Khan, who brought us Hummshakals (see number 16), it’s a remake of a film from the 80’s and it’s reassuring to know Indian audiences are just as disdainful toward remakes as Western audiences. And from what I can gather, the original isn’t particularly well loved either.

It promises to ‘take us back to the eighties’ and that at least is true. The first scene is in a nightclub and you can tell it’s the 80’s because there’s a giant Rubik’s cube hanging from the ceiling. It’s 1983 to be exact, which makes the Ghostbuster’s (1984) logo and Top Gun (1986) poster a little pre-mature. There’s a female singer performing what I think might be an Indian-Disco version of The Cure’s Friday I’m in Love. Then it turns into fight club. I’m no expert but I’m sure this didn’t happen in 1980’s nightclubs in India. That’s all just to introduce us to superhero Ravi. Not literally a superhero but he may as well be he is so ridiculously tough.

The main story is in a village outside Mumbai, where Ravi “returns” (why the quotation marks? Wait and see) to see his mother and sister and to take revenge on the cruel landlord who controls the area and had framed his father for murder, Sher Singh. As a young boy Ravi had attempted to murder Singh but had been forced to flee for his life, now he puts the scares on him by beating up some of his goons.

Singh has a daughter, Rekha, who starts as a cruel, spoilt brat and after being humiliated by Ravi, tries to take revenge by releasing a tiger into the village (yes, really). But her plan goes wrong when it looks like the tiger might attack her but Ravi makes the save and wrestles the tiger (it’s as stupid as it sounds). The tiger wrestling is fun when you play the ‘real tiger/man in suit’ game. Ravi then befriends the tiger and sends it on its’ merry way. From this point, Rekha does a 180 and becomes the romantic interest in the film.

There is another sub-plot with Ravi’s sister Padma who wishes to marry Singh’s son-in-law, Shakti. This is all a ruse by Singh to get back at Ravi, as when they are married they treat Padma like dirt, beating her and making her sleep with the cattle. Ravi plots with Rekha to get back at him by having her pretend to be pregnant with his baby so she will have to marry him. India is a more liberal culture than some may think but very conservative in other ways, an unmarried mother for a daughter would bring great shame to Sher Singh. Ravi uses this fake pregnancy to blackmail Singh into giving up his power and returning the land to the villagers.

There is a twist though, because Ravi is not Ravi. The real Ravi died when he was run over by a car, the fake Ravi was a friend from the orphanage they grew up in and was fulfilling the last wish of his dead friend to look after his family. When Singh learns of this falsehood and the false pregnancy, he makes a last attempt to regain power bringing in a team of cage fighters to destroy him.

Lots of awkward wire-fighting later and they finally have Ravi on the ropes when the tiger from earlier makes the save! With his new found feline ally, Ravi finally conquers the meathead army and is about to kill Singh when his ‘mother’ begs him to spare his life. Singh is indebted to Ravi and begs his forgiveness.

Much of the above sounds quite serious stuff but that’s the problem, it’s not. 80% of the movie is played for laughs but the bizarre tonal shifts really jar. For example, there is a scene with Ravi’s sister Padma when she is in the back of a truck with a group of Sher Singh’s goons and it is implied they are about to gang-rape her until Ravi makes the save. The next scene is Singh and his brother-in-law having comedy japes with cartoon sound effects. And that happens ALL THE TIME. Make a choice, you are either a revenge thriller or a light-hearted comedy with characters breaking the fourth wall at random intervals. You can’t be both.

Ravi is ridiculously over the top, he’s not a man, he’s Thor. He can lift and swing a wagon with ease, knives have no effect on him, he can bust a steel lock with a swipe of his hand. His 'mother' is a little too quick to forgive his deception, though.

Rekha also changes a little too fast. She is a really horrible person at the start and , granted Ravi does save her life but to have changed so completely in an instant stretches credibility.

Then there’s Sher Singh’s brother-in-law, Narayan Das. He’s supposed to be comic relief which is probably why he’s in 75% of the movie. With a silly wig and fake moustache, he’s your typical bungling sort. I suppose he’s amusing in his way but he grates a bit seeing him in nearly every scene.

And an outtake reel over the end credits, don’t you just love those?

I know Bollywood has its tendency to melodrama but man, there are limits. I’m also worried director Sajid Khan has an s&m fetish. There is a LOT of whipping that takes place here.

So it’s bye-bye to Bollywood but I know you’re better than this.

IMDB Bottom 100: Number 5 - Birdemic 2

Number 5: Birdemic 2 – The Resurrection (2013)

So, despite all sense and logic, the first Birdemic movie was a cult hit. Enough so that a sequel was made.

To sum up the story so far: some birds attacked and then flew away, all due to global warming. That was easy, a whole film in 12 words.

The sequel is the same as the first movie but with the insanity turned up to eleven.

Now we have pre-historic birds to deal with, resurrected by the acid rain from the tar pits in LA. So, the heavy handed environmental message is still there, thank goodness.

There is also another point been made about the Hollywood studio system. These big studios don’t give directors creative control over their films you see, not like in the Indies where you can make any old pap. This is not something James Nguyen will ever have to worry about of course.

In terms of structure, it’s identical to the first film. It’s 45 minutes of nothing before the kamikaze birds strike.

The first part is about an award-winning director Bill and his struggles to make his movie while seducing a naïve young actress, Gloria. That’s not quite how its presented but it’s basically what happens. Rod and Nathalie are back! And their funding Bill’s movie.

In fact, all the old gang are back: the scientist guy who gives another lecture on global warming; Nathalie’s mum (who is actually producer Patsy van Ettinger, who has produced all of James Nguyen’s movies. So now you know who to blame); Damian Carter has some new material to serenade us with; Treehugger is back and now he’s a reality TV star.

Other highlights include:

• -          An attack by the worst looking CGI jellyfish you’ll ever see (which ironically is also the best CGI jellyfish you’ll have ever seen. How many others can you think of?)
• -          A great bit of continuity. Tony, one of the children from the first film, has now been adopted by Rod and Nathalie. To explain other child Susan’s absence, he says ‘she got a disease from that fish that Rod cooked.’ Apparently, he improved that. Bravo, young man, bravo.
• -          Everyone’s favourite modern trope: zombies. Acid rain brings the dead back to life apparently. On a side note, when people get buried isn’t it usually in their finery? Suits and fine dresses and such. These zombies are just wearing regular clothes.
• -          Faces been blurred because they didn’t clear their image rights
• -          Attacking birds with coat-hangers again. Rod is not content with this and feels he has to crescent kick them. Also, guns have unlimited ammo in this universe.

My absolute favourite moment though, is when they are being attacked by killer birds on the set of Cabot Cove (home of Jessica Fletcher of Murder, She Wrote. Yes, it is the real set but they only had an hour to film before it was opened to tourists). This is the moment one of the characters (he’s just bird fodder so he doesn’t need a name) feels it is important, no, absolutely vital, that he tells us ‘Jaws is my favourite movie.’ Ok. Thanks for sharing. I don’t know how they could ever have got out of their situation without that information.

I don’t know the connection either.

Sticking rigidly to structure of the first film, the killer birds fly away at the end. Because movie. Also, if you want to survive in this world, you've gotta wear green. Green, you see? The environment, save the planet, etc.

Only skimming the surface again, the film is hilarious in its ineptitude. Student film-makers would be embarrassed to have made this.

The best news though? Birdemic 3 is rumoured to be in production.

IMDB Bottom 100: Number 6 - Birdemic

Number 6: Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

I’ve noted before, I didn’t go into this 100 worst thing entirely blind, I have seen a lot of these films before.

Some I’ve seen many times. Many, many times. Birdemic is one such film. It’s similar to whenever I watch Superman IV, I know what I’m watching is awful but there’s always something new I hadn’t noticed before that makes me enjoy it more.

I don’t feel like I even need to watch it again to do a review of it. I can describe the whole intro right up to the opening line of dialogue. In fact I’ll do just that:

Opening with a POV shot inside a moving car with an awful music loop playing over the top. Seriously, it’s just two bars repeating over and over. Windows Movie Maker credits appear giving us the main players but also ‘Supporting Casts’ because one supporting cast just isn’t enough. Watching this car drive slowly along the road for four minutes but feels three times as long. Eventually our, for lack of a better word, ‘hero’ carefully parks his car (if there is one message to take from this film its park safely because there is a lot of car parking coming up). Rod slowly walks from his car in a way that you would not expect any person to walk in, he looks so unnatural. Eventually he makes it to the restaurant where a terminator is disguised as a waitress. It’s the only explanation I have for the ridiculous way the first line is delivered. You would need to hear it to fully appreciate it, its’ only one word ‘Hi!’ but if you assume multiple takes are done for each shot, like a proper film-maker would, you have to conclude that was the best take. So God only knows how bad the others were.

One new thing I did notice when re-watching was a credit for Tippi Hedren, star of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds which Birdemic is a loose remake of. Though writer and director James Nguyen clearly didn’t take note of how Hitchcock built suspense in his films. But seriously Hedren is on screen for a second on a TV in a motel room. I do like the cheekiness of it.

Since Nguyen tried and failed to get Birdemic shown at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, driving a truck with the film’s title emblazoned on the side, it has picked up quite the cult following. If you go on You Tube and type in ‘Birdemic’ hundreds of videos reviews will appear, from little nobodies in their basements to big million plus subscriber channels.

The criticisms always note the same things: the awful acting; Rod being the worlds’ worst salesman; Nathalie apparently being a Victoria’s Secret model but has all her photo sessions in a one-hour photo shop; the excessive parking; the ham fisted environmental message; the stupid song in the nightclub (‘Just hanging out, hanging out, with the family, Yeah!’); it being 47minutes before we even see anything with wings; the kamikaze exploding birds with plane sound effects; fighting off birds with coat-hangers (the motel wouldn’t let them take out the shower rails); the children who immediately forget the brutal murders of their parents; the movie occasionally taking a break to bring you an environmental lecture on global warming and Spruce Bark Beetles; fishing apparently requiring no hooks or bait.

That’s a small sample that barely skims the surface. The one thread that runs through all reviews though is: this is the best bad movie ever! And it really is. Everything about it is wrong. Some claim that Birdemic is intentionally bad. I disagree, to have deliberately made a film as bad as this would have required far too much thought and effort.

The problem with there being all this material available makes it hard to find anything new or original to say about it. So rather than try and sum up the film any more, lets’ see what happened to the principal casts since then:

Alan Bagh – Rod – By all accounts a really nice guy, Birdemic was his first film role. Since then he’s kept himself busy with a number of straight-to-dvd releases and even had a role as an extra in Parks and Recreation. When website Rifftrax took their show on the road and done a live riff of Birdemic, Bagh attended as a special guest.

Whitney Moore – Nathalie – auditioned for her role in a car park and had to take over as make-up artist on the film after the previous two had quit. How appropriately chaotic. She’s kept herself busy since then, mostly in independent low-budget movies even if a lot of her roles do seem to be of the ‘woman in diner’ variety. There’s probably not many actresses who can list ‘Batman’ on their CV though.

Damian Carter – Nightclub singer – he of ‘Hanging out with the Family’ fame (‘gonna have ourselves a parrrrr-ty!’). Despite appearances, he is a proper musician, has performed in venues all over America and released an album. In a 2013 interview he said he had a lot of fun with Birdemic and was happy it gave him a chance to showcase his music. It’s still a weird song though.

James Nguyen – the Vietnamese born writer, director and producer. A former IT Software salesman, which is surprising given how little his films seem to understand the industry (nb. Giving away a 50% discount is never a good deal, there is such a thing as ‘profit margins’ you know). He’s never had any formal training in filmmaking, which explains a lot, but founded Moviehead Pictures in 2001. The people he casts in his films typically have little movie experience themselves. The blind leading the blind. Though he's so out there I think he might secretly be a genius.

One day, I hope for peace between man and birds too...

They would all be re-united though, one more time…

IMDB Bottom 100: No. 7 - Foodfight!

Number 7: Foodfight (2012)

The bad movie that was 10 years in the making.

Which is quite impressive really. Most films are bad because they’re rushed through with little thought behind them. They had a decade to mull over this one and still got it spectacularly wrong.

Made for a budget of $65 million, the first question that strikes you is: where did all the money go? I can tell you where it didn’t go: the animation. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen to be fair (maybe one day I’ll get to those) but it’s very crude and basic. Not $65 million worth. To put this budget in some sort of perspective, the first Toy Story cost $30 million and Shrek cost $60 million. And both of those films look a thousand times better.

Maybe the cast were a big expense? Well there are some biggish names attached: Charlie Sheen, Eva Longoria, both Hilary and Haylie Duff (I guess they were still relevant when voices were recorded) and Christopher Lloyd. Oh, Chris. I expected this from Charlie but you? You should know better. Still, you were the best thing in 1000 Ways to Die in the West.

Foodfight is written and directed by Lawrence Kasanoff, who brought us such treats as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and erm, Foodfight! Actually I’m being unfair, as a producer he’s done some good stuff. As a writer and director, not so much.

Thematically, this comes at an interesting time as at time of writing, Seth Rogan comedy Sausage Party is currently in cinemas. They are similar in that they revolve around supermarket items coming to life at night when the store is closed, though Sausage Party is about the food itself while Foodfight! is about the colourful mascots you see on the front of the boxes. They also differ in that Sausage Party is intended for adults while Foodfight! isn’t really suitable for anyone to watch. And by all accounts, Sausage Party is rather good.

I’m starting to worry about the amount of times ‘Sausage Party’ is appearing on this page.

Foodfight! does have its ‘one for the dad’s’ moments (you know, the adult moments they put in kids films they aren’t supposed to get). One that stands out is having Eva Longoria’s characters crotch area dominate the screen but through trick of perspective, make it look like giant insect bugs are flying from her vagina. Is this a commentary on man’s fear of female sexuality, so her vagina is presented as both desirable and to be feared? Nah, they just thought it looked funny.

The plot, such that it is, centres on our main character Dex Dogtective (Charlie Sheen). The film can’t quite make its mind up about Dex, he looks like a canine Indiana Jones but alternates between this and a mix of Humphrey Bogart characters Sam Spade and Rick Blaine. Please, pick one and stick with it. The store all the characters live in turns into a city the moment the store closes but needs to be back in place by the time the sun rises. If the store owner ever watched his CCTV he would be freaked out.

Dex’s girlfriend Sunshine disappears about the same time new mysterious product Brand X hits the shelves. Which brings us to Christopher Lloyd’s character who brings Brand X into the store and his character is something else. The way he talks, overprooonooounciaaaating all his words, the amazing unnatural movements. I like to think they motion captured Christopher Lloyd for this, the image of it would be incredible. It would explain where the budget went, that stuffs expensive.

The mascot for Brand X is Lady X (Eva Longoria), the sexy femme fatale wannabe Fuhrer. Yes, as Brand X takes over the store Nazi-style, she even has her own Nuremberg Rally. She wants to kill off all the other mascots and have their products ‘recalled’. Mascots can be killed conventionally but being recalled seems to be considered worse though both seem to be effectively the same.

Dex leads the resistance against Lady X, assisted by his best friend squirrel Daredevil Dan. Dan is Donkey to Dex’s Shrek but a lot more annoying. And they really ram home he’s the black character early on with lots of reference to him being ‘chocolate’. You know, squirrels, chocolate, that whole connection. But then Dex’s girlfriend is a weird cat lady that somehow promotes raisins, so why question it?

Dex leads the resistance against the naXi’s (see what I did there) that culminates in a, you guessed it: FOODFIGHT!!! Actually there are some amusing ideas here, seeing real life weapons reduced to foodstuff like the ketchup water cannons and cherry pie bombs.

So eventually good guys win after a patience breaking 90 minutes, Dex gets his girl back and everyone dances for far, far too long. Seriously, we don’t need to see what happened to every single character, especially when only 4-5 have more than 1 minute of screen time.

And if you’re hoping to see icons like Count Chocula and Captain Crunch, you’ll be very disappointed. Not many big brands wanted to attach themselves to this so you get a lot of rip-offs instead. Vlad Chocool anyone?

I can’t help thinking this was a Producer’s style set-up, this was meant to fail. They had the worst script, the worst animators, the worst story, worst directors, worst actors (well, some).

Though unlike The Producers, this time it did all go wrong/right (RIP Gene Wilder).

Now let's all go see Sausage Party.

IMDB Bottom 100: Number 8 - Keloglan vs the Black Prince

Number 8: Keloglan vs The Black Prince (2006)

Oh Turkey, Turkey, Turkey.

Please stop making movies. Pretty please?

This is the third Turkish movie I’ve watched in a row and I don’t think it’s good for me.

It’s the fourth overall and I think that probably makes me an expert in the subject of Turkish cinema. Four movies is more than 99% of the rest of the worlds’ population have seen (the other 1% being actual Turkish people obviously). There is an interesting sub-genre in the bad film world known as ‘Turkish Remakesploitation’ as it was common for Turkish film-makers to take Hollywood films and remake them for Turkish audiences. The myth is that this was because of a ban on Western movies in Turkey. There wasn’t it was just hacks looking to make a quick buck off somethings success.

Keloglan vs The Black Prince appears to be exploiting two sources. Unfortunately those sources appear to be Hoodwinked and Friedberg and Seltzer movies.

Set in the world of Fairy Tales, Keloglan is a simple shepherd who has been betrothed to the Princess, why I’m not sure but just go with it. Keloglan (which I believe means ‘Bald hero’) is played by Mehmet Ali Erbil, who played the villain in Yes, Sir. As he was about the only entertaining thing in that movie, I wasn’t entirely upset to see him again. Amazing rubbery face.

When first we meet him, he has long flowing blonde locks but he loses them while saving the Princess from a crappy CGI dragon. Its’ actually quite a good sequence as the Black Prince also appears and the two squabble over who gets to save the Princess while she remains in mortal danger. Keloglan saves her in the end but loses his hair in the process. Forward four years and Keloglan is suicidal while the Princess Cankiz has been trying to get out of the marriage sending him off on quests hoping he’ll fail. Which is quite the 180 as in the previous scene she had seemed very much into him.

The latest quest she has for him is to go steal a belt from a particularly ill-tempered giant. But along the way, Keloglan and his side-kick Cankuslogan have the idea that any belt would do so set off in search of a less dangerous giant to steal a belt from. They are aided and/or hindered by Temyuslogan, who is actually a woman called Balkiz who is in love with Keloglan so has dressed as a man to be near him. This is because the film has ideas way above its station and wants to parallel Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. You can’t miss it as the book is directly referenced throughout to the point Balkiz is actually reading a copy of it. Which makes no sense at all. Firstly, this is clearly not the same Universe as Shakespeare and if you did apply a time period to this, it would be long before Shakespeare was born.

Anyway lots of fairy tale references in here: Aladdin, Rapunzel, Red Riding Hood, Snow White, Cinderella (who is a villain for some reason). There’s a meeting of villains and I’m sure one of them is supposed to be Bluto from Popeye, which was a bit weird. There were more modern references as well such as The Ring and the Macarena (I did say ‘more modern’). The finale has Keloglan doing an Elton John impression in a pink wig.

Back to the story, they find a female giant performing Hamlet (see point above re Shakespeare) in a circus and persuade her to come back with them (dressed as a man, I think it’s the writers fetish) to show they completed the task. This brings out the real giant and Keloglan’s deception is revealed. He then has to escape his entrapment and stop the Princess marrying the Black Prince.

The Black Prince, ostensibly our villain but I don’t get him. I don’t know what his grand plan is. He wants the Bad guys to be on the top and to do this he wants to marry Princess Cankiz of the Goodie kingdom, which she is very much up for. But after that? Nothing. No great grab for the Kingdom, just marry the Princess. I guess he’s happy to wait for the Sultan to pop his clogs.

Interestingly though, by the end of the film the Black Prince HAS married the Princess but has apparently failed because Keloglan has realised she wasn’t as nice as he’d thought she was and told him so. I guess in Fairytale Land that stuff makes a difference.

All the characters dance to a cover of 'I Will Survive' to finish. I don't get the song choice.

Overall, I’d say Keloglan vs The Black Prince is: meh. It’s a comedy that’s not funny but at least the ideas are there if not the execution.

I’d sooner watch this again than anything Friedberg and Seltzer have ever made.

IMDB Bottom 100: Number 9 - Yes Sir!

Number 9: Yes, Sir (2007)

Who wants to watch Police Academy?

But set in the army?

And in Turkish?

You’re in luck, because that’s basically what we are offered here.

Full title Emret Komutanim: Sah Mat, I don’t entirely understand the premise. In Police Academy there was a lowering of the standards that let the likes of Mahoney and Tackleberry join the police force, these guys seem to have literally been taken from a mental hospital. Not many of them particularly stand out though, there was one guy with a love of guns and one who liked to dance around but that’s it. Oh, and one of them enters a Turkish Oil Wrestling event (not as sexy as it sounds). But that’s it really.

From what I could gather, the new recruits were organised by a criminal (a Dr Evil type character with sexy female guards) whom I think wanted revenge on the commander of the base for shooting his balls off. I didn’t have any subtitles when I watched so I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure that’s what it was, he literally had his testicles shot off.

Though there aren’t any elaborate set-pieces, it’s clearly supposed to be played for laughs. Which makes it strange when there’s a tonal shift, such as when a soldier is reading a letter from home. It is difficult to do comedy and then insert real drama. It is well beyond the capabilities of this film-maker. It doesn’t lead to anything anyway, so why even bring it up?

There is one what could have been really cool scene near the end when the soldiers are trapped in two cages which need to be opened at the same time or they will blow up. It’s a great set-up but the limitations of the budget really show when the Commander is going to shoot both locks. I could imagine a Hollywood film would have really ramped up the tension: close-up shots of the commander, sweat pouring from his brow, the timer ticking down towards zero. Here? He just shoots them.

Even though I couldn’t really understand what was being said, I doubt subtitles or even speaking Turkish would have greatly improved my enjoyment of Yes, Sir. I was wrong to say this is like Police Academy.

This is more like Police Academy 6.

IMDB Bottom 100: Number 10 - Turks in Space

Number 10: Turks In Space (2006)

(This is actually a trailer for the first Turkish Star Wars but screw it)

We’re in the real shit now. I have watched 90 cruddy films now, ten to go. The 10 worst films (as listed by IMDB on 31/08/2015) ever. And it’s a whopper.

Turks In Space, otherwise known as Turkish Star Wars. Or in Turkish Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam'in Oglu, which translates as ‘Son of the Man who Saved the World’. This is actually a sequel to 1982 film Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam, ‘The Man who Saved the World’, a cult classic in Turkish cinema. Got all that? Good.

It’s worth bringing up, Turkey has a bit of a reputation in the cult cinema world. Basically, they take existing popular franchises and put their own spin on them. There are Turkish versions of Batman, Superman and Spider-Man, none of which have any relation to the original source material. Batman for example, is a homicidal, sexual deviant.

Turks In Space is a take on Star Wars, though crossed with Star Trek. More specifically, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, as they go off looking for a guy all logic would tell you is dead, very dead. The Captain has been searching for his friend for 8 years without success with his rag-tag crew. There’s his incompetent first officer; an android; an old woman who washes the floors; an old man who has apparently slept the last 8 years; a small child; a sexy woman who doesn’t seem to have a specific job and only seems to be there because she has a crush on the Captain; a computer that makes me wonder if I can cram in a Blake’s 7 reference; a black guy. Your standard Sci-Fi crew.

It starts with a montage of great moments in Turkish history, such as the rise of the Ottoman Empire, Attaturk, Galatasary winning the UEFA Cup before they finally get a Turk into space. Can you imagine that? A Turk. In Space!

There’s a warlord, who I guess is our Darth Vader of the piece but nowhere near as badass. I don’t think he actually has a plan of his own but we just accept he does because he looks like a villain. There’s a lot of guff about twins separated at birth and arranged weddings, some not so subtle satire about American foreign policy. None of it very coherent.

It should be said, it is played a lot for laughs with silly set-pieces. There is a Death Star of sorts and we do get a lightsabre battle at the end. I quite enjoyed the impromptu love story, mainly because they done a 3 minute flashback sequence that made me realise the two characters had literally only spent 3 minutes of screen-time together.

And some amazing special effects on display here, like they had been made on an Amiga 600 in the early 90’s. Industrial Light and Magic have little to fear.

Turks In Space or Turkish Star Wars could in no way be described as a ‘good’ movie but it is certainly an enjoyable one. It actually broke my rule: bad films can be so bad they’re good but bad comedies are always just bad. Turks In Space is not exactly funny but it is fun and doesn’t take itself too seriously in any way.

So even if just out of curiosity, I recommend giving it a go.