Number 30: From Justin to Kelly (2003)
Or American Idol: The
Movie as it probably should be known.
Eager to milk the last few pennies from the 2002 American Idol series, this film was
cobbled together with winner Kelly Clarkson co-starring with finalist Justin
Guarini.
It’s like if a film was made with Will Young and Gareth
Gates. I imagine it would be a buddy-cop movie. Gates would be the plucky, new
recruit while Young would be the maverick, no bs veteran not afraid to break
the rules, creating headaches for his long-suffering Sargent played by Pete
Waterman. He has to deal with the Mayor, Simon Cowell, but he’s got his own
criminal racket going on so it’s up to Gates and Young to take him down.
A missed opportunity, someone should make this movie.
There is a lot of pedigree behind this, relatively speaking.
Director Robert Iscogrove brought us She’s
All That and Boys and Girls.
Writer Kim Fuller was the creative mind behind Spiceworld and the S Club 7 TV series. Her brother is Simon Fuller,
the music producer behind The Spice Girls and creator of the Pop Idol format
and is also executive producer of From
Justin to Kelly.
So with this talent behind it, they should know the market
their aiming at. Don’t expect any philosophical questions or deep underlying
themes.
Obviously as it’s a vehicle to showcase the talents of
Clarkson and to a lesser-extent Guarini so there are a lot of song and dance
numbers. The movie is set in Miami during the curious American tradition of
Spring Break, when every student in America schedules it in to get drunk. But
what I realised, is how well choreographed the dancing is at Spring Break.
Clearly there is a lesser known tradition where all the students get together
so they can get their routines down.
This is the Disney-fied version of spring break rather than
the MTV/Girls Gone Wild version we probably imagine it to be. There is laddish
talk to be sure but it’s largely a sexless affair. There’s the expected college
level hi-jinks but nothing on the level of say, Animal House.
Kelly travels to Miami from Texas with her two girlfriends
while Justin arrives with his ‘Pennsylvania Posse’. After a brief encounter on
the beach, they are instantly attracted to each other but there are misunderstandings,
mainly caused by Kelly’s jealous friend Alexa, blah, blah, blah, they end up together at
the end.
There are a few sub-plots going on such as with Justin’s
friend Brandon and an attractive lady police officer but this is all just
filler between one dance number and the next.
If you are a fan of Kelly Clarkson, it’s probably good to
hear her songs but she made the right call becoming a singer rather than an
actress. Justin Guarini is slightly more acceptable if nothing special.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to work on the script for Gates and Young: Vice.
Number 29: Crossover (2006)
Getting real now. This isn’t just a basketball movie, this is
streetball!
What is streetball? Well, it’s just like regular basketball
but they play it in the street. I’ve looked into it and streetball is a growing
sport in America but there doesn’t seem to be any definitive set of rules. Its
popularity stems from the way it allows players more freedom to showcase their
individual skills.
This film centres around two guys called Cruise and Tech.
The former is a talented basketball player but dreams of being a doctor. Tech (who
is played by Anthony Mackie, better known as Falcon in the Marvel movies) done
some time so Cruise can fulfil his dream but now he’s out he wants to get his
GED and play more basketball.
Cruise agrees to play on Tech’s streetball team for one game,
though it could potentially put his scholarship at risk (for some reason). This
brings them up against a guy called Jewelz who I suppose is the villain in the
film though he doesn’t really turn up very often. Jewelz is played by Eric
Champion AKA Hot Sauce who is one of the major stars of streetball (see, I do
research).
They lose the game but Cruise is the star player, which
brings him to attention of promoter and former sports agent Vaughn. He wants to
give Cruise the opportunity to turn pro but Cruise turns him down, he wants to
be a doctor. Vaughn is presented as being a villain but it’s not really obvious
why. All he really does is give Cruise the chance to be a professional
basketball player in the NBA. How awful. What a dick.
It gets leaked to the press that he played in the streetball
game and as a result he loses his scholarship. This story makes it into the
papers and everything. I guess it was a slow news day.
It turns out the one who leaked the story was Cruise’s money
grabbing girlfriend Vanessa. She thinks with the scholarship gone, Cruise will
have no choice but to take up Vaughn’s offer. She’s also lied to him about
being the father of her unborn baby (it’s actually Jewelz or possibly 2 or 3
other unnamed men). With Cruise still not wanting to try to go pro, she kicks
him to the kerb. She really is a horrible person.
Now let’s check in with Tech. His own story arc has seen him
struggling to get his GED, hustling people in basketball games and star in a
commercial but then getting pissed off when he finds out he’s only a double for
the real star of the advert.
After a falling out with Cruise they make up and talk about
their plans to go to community college. They also agree to take on Jewelz team
one more time. Again, Jewelz is treated like he’s a villain but there’s a 60
minute plus block of the movie in which he doesn’t appear. I don’t know why
there is such animosity towards him.
Before the game though, reeling from his girlfriend’s
revelations, Cruise is involved in a motorcycle accident. Tech takes it on
himself to win the game for Cruise and use the winnings to pay for his medical
games.
Having won the game (obviously), Vaughn offers Tech the
chance to be a star player, the horrible person that he is. Tech turns him down
as he wants to go to community college.
We end with a ‘Where Are They Now?’ segment. Because that’s what
we really all wanted to know.
If there is one lesson this film is trying to get across its
education. Education is important and doesn’t this film just know it. Every few
minutes they are cramming that message down our throats.
I don’t know about this one. I don’t think this film is too
bad. Sure the drama part is clunky and the dialogue could have done with some
white people subtitles but the basketball games are well shot and do get across
the slick showboating nature of streetball.
It’s ok.
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