Number 58: Copper Mountain (1983)
Copper Mountain
could be worth checking out just for its curiosity value as it features Jim
Carrey in one of his earliest film roles. If his IMDB profile is correct he
would have been just 20 years old while he was filming this. It would be
another decade before he would really hit the big time with Ace Ventura, but it’s interesting to see
that even back then he was doing the rubber face-goofy voice shtick that would
become his trademark.
His co-star in this is Alan Thicke, a man who made a career
as a supporting actor in 100 different films and TV shows over the years. But
perhaps his career highlight was composing the theme tune to Different Strokes (and yes, his son is
Robin Thicke).
So how’s the movie? Well, bad films don’t move to the beat
of just one drum.
It’s not really even a film. It’s only 60 minutes for one
thing. And it comes off as a 60 minute infomercial for the Copper Mountain ski
resort in Colorado. Lots of shots of the mountains, bars, restaurant, spa. It
looks very nice, just the skiing part that puts me off.
Carrey and Thicke are Bobby and Jackson, two guys heading to
the resort for different reasons. Jackson wants to join a pro-ski team while
Bobby just wants to meet women. They say they come from Grimsby, which is
Ontario but I like to imagine they mean Grimsby in Lincolnshire. It makes their
story about chasing buffalo more interesting.
Jackson gets a chance to earn his spot on a pro-team in an,
erm, ski-off but Bobby’s attempts to woo the ladies don’t go so well.
Apparently, women don’t like it when you make silly noises and faces at them.
I’m learning so much.
The film then takes a break to show a music concert from
Romping Ronnie Hawkins. We don’t get just one song though, oh no, we get five. With Rita Coolidge too. A one hour film
(shorter if you exclude the credits) and it is dragging itself out.
I have
looked up Ronnie Hawkins as its not a name I'm familiar with and it would seem he was a big pioneer in the early
days of Rock ‘n’ Roll but never enjoyed the same sort of commercial success as
his contemporaries. Still, that is no excuse for dragging out this segment and
it makes Copper Mountain look a bit Butlins.
Jackson gets his spot on the team, despite losing his race
because the guy he lost to is an employee of the resort and wants him to have
it. Aren’t the staff lovely? While this is going on, Bobby finds the confidence
to be himself after speaking to Jean Claude Killy, a gold medal winning Olympic
skier. But when he’s doing his impressions of famous people and zaney antics is
that not him being himself? Someone who likes to entertain (debatable) others?
Why does it seem like ‘being yourself’ often means ‘be bland and
uninteresting’.
Still, he has to go on a crazy run down the slopes before he
has any success, impressing the ladies with his awesome ski skills. This
negates the advice he was just given as this was actually his first time skiing
and he just got lucky but the women thought he was great, so he went along with
it. So don’t be yourself then, always be something you’re not. Lie, lie and lie
again.
Not much to say about Copper
Mountain as a film but as an advert for Copper Mountain Ski Resort, it’s
fantastic.
Number 57: A Fox’s Tale (2008)
The first animated film on the list. And from Hungary too,
another country to cross off the list. Truly, bad films are a global
experience.
It does have a decent cast for the English dub of the film
with Bill Nighy, Sienna Miller and Miranda Richardson adding their voices to
the film. I imagine this is where the films budget went as they sure as hell
didn’t spend any of it on the animation as this is truly horrendous. I don’t
expect Toy Story levels of detail but
this level of 3D animation wouldn’t have been acceptable on an early 90’s pc
game. Chopping and swirling about all over the place, characters who look less
convincing than Wallace & Gromit
(I don’t even know how you do that) moving in bizarre ways.
Do not watch this film in one sitting. You will be ill.
From my background research (yes, I do research on these), A Fox’s Tale is an intended sequel to
1981 film The Little Fox, which is
considered a highpoint for Hungarian animated films. I won’t argue that but if
true, what a way to shit all over its legacy with this turd.
The story is something about animals being taken from the
forest and made to perform in a circus. Led by Jack the fox they plan their
escape, though the circus is right next to the forest and there aren’t any
fences so it’s not exactly The Great
Escape. There’s also a subplot about a young female acrobat and a
supposedly disabled boy in a wheelchair. I say supposedly as he’s able to walk
at the end and we're supposed to be amazed at this but even before that he moves his legs to trip up a goon. I say he’s
just lazy.
Don’t worry if you miss anything though, as a crow turns up
every few minutes to rap at you everything that’s just happened. I think it’s
meant to make this film seem cool and hip but it reminds me of old CBBC series Maid Marion, which would have musical
breaks every so while to recap the story of each episode. And that was never
cool nor hip but still better than A Fox’s
Tale.
They all escape and its happy endings all round. I think. It’s
hard to concentrate with animation that juts about all over the place.
It’s always tempting to go easier on a film if it’s targeted
at children but in this case, I don’t think so. If anything we need to be
harder as children need to learn an important lesson: Half-arsing it like this
is absolutely not acceptable.
It’s times like these I wonder what I am doing, watching a
badly animated, Hungarian children’s cartoon and getting worked up about it. But I'm committed to it now, so I plow on...
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