Number 84: Mitchell (1975)
Time for some 1970’s cop drama. Boom-chika-wakka…
Joe Don Baker plays our hero, the titular Mitchell. A heavy
drinking, cigar smoking cop with a large porn collection and a penchant for
hookers. What a guy. He does however, have a high intolerance for anyone
who does break the law (apart from himself and prostitutes, obviously. That's ok).
He’s one of those damn mavericks who just won’t do it by the
book, to his captain’s constant chagrin. There is a touch of Colombo about him
too, with his dogged persistence in pursuing the movie’s villain, James
Cummings played by Oscar winning actor Martin Balsam. Basically, it’s
harassment.
There’s a plot involving heroin being smuggled into LA which
I think is the main story but it’s all so convoluted it’s difficult to tell.
John Saxon plays a secondary villain who kills a kid at the
start but doesn’t seem to tie into the main story in any way, except to reveal he had been
paying for Mitchell’s prostitute. Why he does this, I don't know. He offers a complicated bribe that involves Mitchell first buying a house and Saxon buying it from him. What's wrong with good old fashioned cash?
There seems to be no reason to have Saxon in
there other than to have his name on the credits. Name a popular US TV series
from the 70’s or 80’s and John Saxon probably made an appearance in it.
Mitchell has a lot
of dumb scenes in it such as a low-speed, no thrills car chase (remember, just because you're a criminal, that's no excuse for ignoring the highway code); Mitchell
getting into a slanging match with a random child and Mitchell breaking into
Saxon’s house for no apparent reason.
Truthfully, Mitchell’s not much of a character, he's not very likeable and he just sort
of fumbles around exhibiting zero charm or charisma. I suspect this was a pilot
that was probably meant to lead to a TV series but judging by this, we didn’t
miss out on much.
Number 83: Monster a Go-Go (1965)
Moving into real B-movie territory here. Cheap sets,
terrible dialogue and bad acting. And a narrator.
After you have watched a few bad movies, you start to notice
certain trends and themes. One such trend is the use of a narrator, explaining
what is happening in every scene. This is basically like an admission from the
film maker that the scene isn’t strong enough to speak for itself. Rather than
helping the movie, all using a narrator does is highlight how bad your movie
is. Think of all the great movies you’ve seen in your lifetime, than count how
many use a narrator. Not many is it?
The plot is much the same as Beast of Yucca Flats (another film that relies heavily on a
narrator, although to Monster a Go-Go’s
credit at least it doesn’t try to be so preachy) with a radioactive monster terrorising
a small town.
A space capsule crashes but the astronaut is missing and
bodies are turning up dead, with a monster having been spotted in the area. The
military turn up to try to capture the monster and then it just sort of ends with no real
climax. That’s 70 minutes wasted.
The ‘monster’ is really just a taller than average guy with
radiation poisoning that he passes on to kill his victims. He has been able to
survive as supposedly the astronaut had been taking some radiation serum prior
to going into space.
There is a twist at the end where the audience is left to
wonder whether the monster was actually the astronaut or some other being but
to be honest, the producers were being optimistic to think there would be an
audience still around to see it.
Even the narrator doesn’t seem to know what’s going on at times. One
bit of narration clearly says a character is about to be killed but at the end
of the movie we see him alive and well.
I don’t really know where the ‘a Go-Go’ comes into the
title. There is a bit with some high-school kids dancing in that hip-swinging
60’s style but that’s as close as I can come to an explanation. The trailer for this movie writes cheques it's ass can't cash with it's vibrant style and the big deal it makes about all the 'pretty girls' in the movie. Yeah, they turn up for one two-minute scene in a 70 minute film. Pretty girls and fun times make up little over 1% of the movie. Whoo!
In conclusion, this film has bad directing, is poorly produced, has a boring story and characters
you are given no reason to care about. Monster
A Go-Go is a lesson in how not to make a Sci-Fi movie but has a trailer that is a great lesson in how to make your film look interesting.
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